Uncle Joe's House of Crazy » SnakeOil

Accountability

admin — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 06:32:00 +0000

According to A.B. “Buzzy” Krongard, a former high level CIA official, the CIA is suffering from low morale as a result of the Inspector General’s probe into their use of torture.

Uh… Good? I mean, I’m glad that members of the agency AT LEAST recognize that OTHERS might take issue with their actions. Krongard says agency personnel may reconsider controversial programs that could place them in “personal legal jeopardy” if the programs are exposed.

Uh… Good? Isn’t the threat of consequences SUPPOSED to be a deterrent? Apparently CIA officials had warned President Obama that if he allowed information about harsh interrogation methods to become public, there would be an uproar “that could not be contained.”

Uh… Good? I mean, if nobody is outraged about this stuff, then perhaps The Terrorists Really Have Won™.

Quit Makin’ Things Up

Joe — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 04:58:12 +0000

So, here’s the thing. I’m pretty liberal, and I have strong opinions on the current healthcare debate. I am not at all happy about the way in which the argument is currently being framed. The chances are good that if you are here because you are a friend of mine – we already agree on that. If not – if you are a friend or a coworker or a family member or just a random googler with another opinion… that’s okay too. The thing is, I haven’t blogged in a while, and although I’m happy to have this ~~argument~~ discussion with you in person, I don’t really think I’m going to sway you with 615 words hidden on a dopey little vanity website.

I don’t want to point fingers here, but SERIOUSLY – when did we get to the point where just completely lying about things was an acceptable strategy? Political or Otherwise? If you don’t like healthcare reform – I get it. Why not? I mean, why “in the fact based universe” not? I am sure there are plenty of rational reasons… You think that the people who run the insurance companies are more likely to advocate for you than the government that is dependent upon you for reelection? Fair enough. You are thrilled with the direction that the insurance industry has gone in the last several years? Great! You are concerned that the healthcare plan is huge and complex and needs to be properly vetted prior to being voted upon? I GET THAT! Saying that the *liberals* – you know, the ones who are constantly trying to take your hard earned money to prop up the lazy and the undeserving – saying that the LIBERALS are trying to push through a plan that will allow them to euthanize your GRANDMA because she isn’t pulling her weight? Surely that’s just a TINY BIT disingenuous… Yes, I’m a little afraid that if this gets passed, and then someone new gets elected who isn’t all “people have intrinsic value,” that things could get a little Soilent Greenish on us, but I figure UHC is only a year or two off from that, anyhow. Meanwhile, the insurance companies only want my doctor to spend 7 minutes with me and they aren’t paying for any more of that commie “wellness” crap. I have been told that Canadians are dropping like flies because they have soviet-era breadlines for bypass surgery by the SAME PERSON who told me that his doctor couldn’t refill his VERY IMPORTANT prescription until he came in for his appointment, but that the doctor had just rescheduled that appointment for a month after the initial prescription ran out. (That story has a happy ending because the teller had clout and was able to get “samples” – which I guess aren’t tracked by the insurance company because they aren’t officially prescribed…)

Oh, and seriously. I understand that you can’t separate beliefs from actions, and therefore it’s unreasonable to separate religion from politics – BUT THAT BEING SAID… I’m sure that if I read the bible properly I’d realize that God is a Libertarian (or at least a fiscally conservative Republican), but I was born in the 60s when the hippies were all “love” and “peace” and junk, so I get all hung up on the “compassionate” spin that the lefty preachers try to put out. I get the concept of “fulfilled covenant” meaning that the New Testament totally trumps the Old Testament (except the “No Gays” stuff), so we should just ignore the bits that says things like “You should generously open up your hand to your afflicted and poor brother in your land,” but show me the part of the bible where Jesus says “if a man asks for your coat, tell him to get a job and a haircut” – because I seem to be missing that page. If I could get the protestant version of a talmudic scholar to interpret the “Render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s, and unto God the things that are God’s” – since I CLEARLY misread the tax implications therein.

The world is a hard place. Big corporations don’t actually put people before profits. Politicians are self-motivated. Some people take advantage of the system. There aren’t easy answers – but surely we should at least try to find them, right?

The Friars Club Roast of George W Bush

Mon, 01 May 2006 16:06:40 +0000

Well, technically it is Stephen Colbert speaking at the White House Correspondents Dinner, but why split hairs?

“This administration is not sinking. This administration is soaring. If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg!”
Daily Kos: Re-Improved Colbert transcript (now with complete text of Colbert-Thomas video!)

As with his show, I think that his speech had it’s highs and lows, but it was worth it to have him spread a little “truthiness” when we could actually watch the president – and the press corps, for that matter – squirm.

Spare (us from) The Rod

Mon, 10 Jan 2005 22:54:54 +0000

To say that I’m horrified that anyone would actually manufacture a device specifically for the purpose of beating children would be an understatement. Someone does. Sign the Petition Against the Rod. There is a fair amount of material out there about this particular method of child abuse, but you get a pretty good idea from the petition site.

Seriously. Do you think Jesus would advocate beating sticks?

A Questionable Slogan

Mon, 22 Nov 2004 05:12:19 +0000

“This job will kill you”
- US Army Recruiter, quoted in the Los Angeles Times, talking about the challenge of meeting recruitment quotas for the military.

Mobile Phone Numbers

Fri, 28 Mar 2003 23:11:41 +0000

My cellular plan is too expensive. Not only that, but I think I get better nationwide coverage from a different provider. If only I hadn’t given my cellphone number to so many people…

Sound familiar? Well there is good news. The FCC is finally going to start enforcing

Duct Tape and Plastic

Thu, 13 Feb 2003 23:26:29 +0000

“Daddy, tell me again about when you were a kid, and people still had rights…”

Icarus Rebuked

Fri, 10 Jan 2003 22:18:52 +0000

It’s just not fair.

It is no secret that I have been waiting a lifetime for my jet pack. Television promised it to me and I expect science to deliver. Then, when one does become available, they screw it up with some lame caveat that you can’t use it. That SUCKS!

I’ll say it again: “I am a target market!” You make me a reasonably affordable jet pack, and I will buy it. I will specify that I need to be allowed to fly it. I am Icarus Grounded. Think about it – if Daedalus had only used a more heat-resistant medium when fashioning his legendary wings, the story of Icarus would not be a cautionary tale about disobedience youthful exuberance, but rather a celebration of man’s exhultation and passion. It’s a story of grabbing life with both hands, sidetracked by design flaws and cheap manufacturing. Are you listening, Detroit? Hello, Flint Michigan? Do you want that “American Made” pride to return? The future is not in hybrid-electric cars, it’s in JET PACKS!

My co-worker contends that Jet Packs will be the downfall of modern society, and she may be right. I don’t trust most folks to park near me, so the idea of them flying is pretty scary – but I figure if society is going down, I want a front row seat. Those people aren’t going to be early adopters, so by grabbing one of the first models, I’ll log plenty of airtime before the average yokels get off the ground. By the time the government starts regulating the fun out of them, I’ll have moved to my secret lair on the ocean floor, where I will remain with my beautiful and intelligent family until the rest of the world has destroyed itself. Then we shall rise up to repopulate the earth and rule with wisdom and …

Perhaps I have said too much. Move along, there is nothing to see here.

[via boingboing]

Sorry Charlie

Fri, 27 Dec 2002 17:08:08 +0000

It seemed like a great idea. Create a DVD lending pool to take advantage of the office resources. I figured, between the three of us, we’d have plenty of crossover interest without too much crossover inventory. I keep forgetting that my tastes are a little… eclectic.

It’s not that I don’t like the sort of movies that they like – it’s that they don’t necessarily like the movies that I buy. Sure, we all like The Matrix and Lord of the Rings, but we all have The Matrix and Lord of the Rings… I tried to bring in some movies that I thought would be a little more unusual, and I think I may have overdone it.

Now, I can understand that Shaolin Dolemite has a somewhat narrow audience… but the rest (save Apollo 13, which was a gift) are cult faves – guilty pleasures, perhaps, but fun and enjoyable nonetheless. Slapshot? Come on! The Warriors? Sheer Fun! Rollerball? uh… Buckaroo Banzai? Great!

The truth is, my video collection is very similar to my music collection. I guess I figure that the mainstream stuff is always playing, but where can you go for a good disco kung-fu blaxploitation epic?

That’s what I thought.

I Kill Bunnies

Thu, 27 Jun 2002 12:57:39 +0000

That’s clearly the message intended by the Project Planet doorhanger I found in my room at the Embassy Suites in Philadelphia this week.

A pretty standard concept in hotels these days, Project Planet’s mission is “to protect the environment through conservation of water and decreased use of detergent.” The idea is that they won’t wash your sheets and towels every day unless you hang this sign on your door requesting them to do so. This sign, with a picture of a hopelessly cute bunny, on the outside of your hotel room door – for everyone to see. This sign, which says “Please Change the Linens Today” but clearly means “I am evil, and want you to kill helpless forest creatures for me. The cuter the better.”

Now here’s the thing – I approve of the message, but not the media. It’s not as painfully blatant as those Truth ads, but it is clearly manipulative. I’m a pretty decent guy, and I’m willing to reuse my towels and sheets for a few days at a hotel – I do it at home, after all – but when I feel I’m being manipulated, I just feel an almost overwhelming urge to respond negatively. If you are going to treat me like a bunnykiller, I might just prove you right. Wash my sheets twice a day, and please don’t turn off the taps – I like to keep the water running so that I know it’s good and fresh when I get back to my room. Oh, and by the way – be a dear and have my kittenfur lounging robe drycleaned for me. I’m off to my sealclubbing meeting tonight, and I want to look good.