As of tonight, we’re 802.11g compliant in this house. Well, technically I have a WiFi link from my work laptop to my home network… baby steps.

A few years ago, one of my best friends gave me the means to see. Five cards for long term predictions, three for the daily outlook, and one to answer a single question. Others in my office prefer the Magic 8-Ball, but under the premise that the 8-Ball effects, rather than predicts, I ask [...]

So maybe we’ve always been screwed up. That’s why you shouldn’t bat an eyelash when you’re glancing at the TV schedule of USA Today — and this happened to me last Monday — to notice that night’s episode of Fear Factor features the four-word synosis, “Contestants eat horse rectum.” I didn’t even blink. I was [...]

… the section where the lactation expert is explaining the process by stroking the areolar area of the new mother and then tweaking her nipple as she demonstrated the problems associated with improper techinque was just a cheesy sound track and an overdubbed moan away from campy lesbian porn…

 
OBEY THE MONKEY!
 

If you had asked me a few years ago, I’d have told you that this particular piece of the American Dream was beyond my reach.

I was on a roll with the baby registry, so I went ahead and updated my personal wish list. It’s like when I used to sit and circle things in Grandma’s copy of the Sears Christmas Catalog. I’m not actually looking to get most of this stuff, but it’s fun to wish.

“Children fail to be as amused by stupid internet projects as they should be.”

“Why did you name your first born ‘bonzo’?”
“It’s the nature of monkeys…”

Memepool posted a link about how jetpacks will work, but still no link on where to buy one. My search continues.