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Weird Kid #01


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Chocolate Milk Bubbles

It’s sunny and 68 here in the Great State of Southern California, but for those of you digging out from one of the worst snow storms in decades, I present

SNOW DAY FUN

courtesy of Todd Levin’s Tremble 2000 mailing list*.

What you’ll need: glass, chocolate milk maker, milk, straw, warm heart, stirrer (spoon?)

Chocolate Milk Bubbles
1 – Make a TALL glass of chocolate milk, preferably with cocoa powder
rather than that choco-syrup that farts its way out of a Hershey’s
bottle. (who wants to start a glass of chocolate milk with a giant fart
anyway? put that question to hershey’s!)

2 – Drink said glass about 2/3 down. This should be easy if you used
Nestle’s cocoa powder mix or something comparable, as it is very
delicious. What will be harder, my friend, is leaving the remaining
1/3 in your glass. If you accidentally break down and start drinking
that, just spit it back in through the straw. No one’s looking.

3 – Now SLOWLY air into the straw, making sure the bottom edge is
piercing the surface of the chocolate milk. Bubbles! See how they get
thick and frothy and climb their way to the lip of your glass? Don’t
be nervous. Let them creep higher and higher until they reach the lip.
(EXPERIENCED USERS: try to make the bubbles come over the lip. if
you’re careful, they’ll stand there, and won’t spill on the tablecloth
that your mom just washed.)

4 – Let the bubbles recede by leaving them alone. They’ll pop, one by
one, and soon you’ll be back to just plain chocolate milk. But here’s
the trick! Just before they’ve finished popping, blow some more, and
let them climb again. The act of constant action and inaction will
have a calming effect on you, and an entertaining effect on your glass
of chocolate milk.

5 – Repeat this activity until you are grounded. Then quickly drink
the rest of your chocolate milk, wipe your mouth with your sleeve and
give your mom the finger when she turns her back on you. That’ll show
her!

*If you enjoyed Todd’s tale of chocolate milk fun and are in the NYC area, go check out his reading of No Exit 2 on February 27th.

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