I sunburned myself nearly to

I sunburned myself nearly to death.
I haven’t gotten a bad burn in a looooooong time, and I’m pretty conciencious about it, because… you know… it hurts. This weekend, however, I took my nephews to the pool in my parents’ development. I’m smart, I’m forward thinking… but my wife is with her folks and she has my sunblock. No problem, I grab something with an SPF written on the tube and slather myself. We went over, I swam for about 20 minutes and then retired poolside for a little light reading about XML.
2 hours later…
I knew there was something wrong because my legs had started to *hurt*… So we go back to the apartment and I take a quick shower to stop the cooking… while drying off I notice that the tube of anti-sun I used was not waterproof… Oh       crap.       The upshot is that I can barely walk, I look like I was a finalist in this year’s Hot Oil French Fry Stomp-Off, and I’m completely pitiful..
What I want to know is, is it a bad sign when the sunburn causes the same sort of swelling normally associated with “crush” injuries? That’s the worst part (today, last night the worst part was the *ITCHING*), I sit with my legs elevated, and then when I get up, I feel like I ought to be on crutches. If I don’t come back from this vacation, I want someone to blow up the sun in retaliation for my suffering. Kids, take a tip from your old uncle Joe: Learn not to burn.

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